Being held by my grandmother Helen when I was an infant in 1973.
Receiving presents with my mother Elizabeth (left) and grandmother Johanna (right) in 1973.
I am so lucky to have known and spent time with my grandparents and even one of my great grandmothers. Mostly, I spent time with my two grandmothers because my first grandfather died of a heart attack on Valentine's Day when I was in high school. My other grandfather was killed when he walked out of a nursing home and started to walk toward his home. He had dementia and Alzheimers. When he left he said he was going to plant flowers and nobody stopped him. He was struck by a car driven by a girl I went to high school with.
When I was 44, my first grandmother passed away naturally at the ripe old age of 98-and-a-half. How lucky am I at this stage in my life to have had both grandmothers for so long when my friends are already losing their parents?
Helen, my Dad’s mother, frequently babysat us because my parents often worked double shifts; my father was a boilermaker at the U.S. Steel Duquesne Works, and my mom was a critical care nurse at Montefiore Hospital and later Jefferson Hospital before she retired.
Johanna celebrating her 90th birthday in June.
Photograph by Jennifer McCalla
Helen with my daughter Ashley in 2013. She passed away in 2017.
Photograph by Jennifer McCalla
I miss everyone getting together. My family always had holiday get-togethers at her house. My favorite traits of hers were her youthfulness and her willingness to always give you her undivided attention. Gram rarely complained, even up till the very end when she lost most of her sight and was extremely bored due to her physical limitations.
When we were children she colored thousands of coloring books, played Chinese jump rope and jacks with us. She taught us how to play gin rummy, poker, and we often played Go Fish. My brother and I would perform shows for her in their cellar, hiding behind a plastic shower curtain between scenes filled with dancing and impersonations of wild animals. We played Mother May I and roller skated in her basement, always avoiding the Pittsburgh toilet. I don’t remember her ever getting bored, becoming annoyed or even yawning. Not even once. She always gave us her undivided attention.
She loved to watch ice skating on television, especially the Olympics. She knew the current dances and always cracked me up when she demonstrated them. My grandparents never owned a car, so we used to walk everywhere with them when we were younger. The only thing that eventually slowed my gram down was the neuropathy in her legs and feet. Even an hysterectomy didn’t slow her down. After she was discharged from McKeesport Hospital, she walked three miles back to her home.
So, she would crawl around on all fours while chasing and playing with my daughter when she was little. She was very independent and lived in her own home until she was 97. I miss her dearly, and she left a big hole in my life that I can never seem to fill. I spent a lot of time with her, but I still wish I had more. Selfishly, I wanted her to live to 100. Every time I drive past her house, I remember what great times we had together.
We celebrated my other grandma’s 90th birthday just a few weeks ago. Johanna was born and raised in a village called Aalbeek which is in Limberg province of Holland. She came over to the United States at the age of 17. She raised six children, her seventh child died soon after childbirth. She made everything from scratch, including clothes. My Oma could even juggle. She is still fluent in Dutch, after all these years.
Every holiday dinner was a tremendous feast. I don’t know how she was able to cook for so many people. I get tired of cooking for three, let alone a crowd of 24. She prepared a five-course meal every time we visited and you always went home with a loaf of banana bread. One year we baked her famous nut rolls with her. It was nothing for her to make dozens of cookies for every Christmas, every cousin’s wedding, every baby shower and every family reunion.
She would often tell me that she fell asleep with her Joy of Cooking cookbook. She bought me my own copy when I got married. She quilted, crocheted, and made decorations for every season. She also made dolls for me that I still treasure. At my request, she made me black and gold leg-warmers with a matching scarf for my chihuahua because we are big Pittsburgh Penguins fans. She received her American citizenship after her husband died.
I am also grateful that my daughter Ashley has been able to spend time with her great-grandmothers. Ashley has learned about her European ancestors and how life was more challenging for women from previous generations. I know they both treasured spending time with her too. You could see them light up inside when they get together. My grandmothers are truly amazing women who inspired me.